Gottman Method EFT DBT-Informed

You're tired of having
the same fight. Over and over.

Couples therapy for two people who still want this to work — and are ready for it to land somewhere different this time.

In-person in Chicago · Telehealth across IL 15-min free consult You don't have to agree on everything to book
[Photo of
Maya Reyes, LMFT]
"We came in tired of the same fight. We left actually hearing each other."
— a couple, 8 months in
Sound familiar?

Two people. Two different
versions of the same ache.

What one of you might be thinking

"We're physically together. But emotionally, we're miles apart."

"I rehearse what I'm going to say before I say it. Just in case."

"I just feel like I can't relax in my own home anymore."

What the other might be thinking

"We're wonderful co-parents and roommates. We just don't really see each other."

"I don't even know what 'the right moment' would look like anymore."

"I know exactly which fight is coming. I just don't know how to stop it."

Neither of you is wrong about what you're feeling. You're both just describing the same drift, from two different rooms in the same house. That gap is exactly where the work starts.
The experience

Maybe nothing "happened." That's almost the hardest part.

No affair. No blow-up either one of you could point to and say, "that's when it broke." Just two people who used to be a team, slowly turning into two people managing a household together — politely, carefully, and a little further apart every season.

You're not fighting constantly. In some ways that almost makes it harder to justify getting help. From the outside, you look fine. You're still good co-parents, good roommates, good at logistics. You just don't really see each other the way you used to.

"Nobody was hitting anybody. There was no scandal to report. But I'd spent years managing the mood of the house so carefully, I'd forgotten what it felt like to walk in and just be myself."

That quiet kind of distance is real. It's also exactly the kind of thing couples therapy is built for — not just the dramatic ruptures, but the slow drift that happens when life gets loud and connection gets quiet.

Who I work with

Couples come to me when —

You feel like roommates, not partners
The logistics still work. The friendship and spark quietly went missing somewhere along the way.
One of you pursues, one of you withdraws
The harder one of you reaches, the further the other pulls back — and you both end up exhausted by the same dance.
You're having the same fight, again
Different topic, same outcome. You've tried solving it logistically. It keeps coming back wearing different clothes.
Trust took a hit and hasn't recovered
Something happened — big or small — and neither of you has figured out how to fully come back from it yet.
Intimacy has quietly disappeared
Not from lack of love. From exhaustion, distance, or just not knowing how to find your way back to each other physically.
One of you is scared to even bring up therapy
You're worried it'll sound like an accusation, or like you've already given up. It doesn't have to be either.
What's actually happening

You've tried fixing the fight.
The fight isn't really the fight.

Chore chart
Calmer for 2 weeks
Same fight returns
"...wearing different clothes."

The dishes were never really about the dishes.
The fight underneath the fight is the one we actually work on.

Before you book

The two questions almost every couple has before their first session

You don't have to have this figured out before you reach out. Most of the couples I work with arrive with some version of the same two worries — so let's just say them out loud.

Going to couples therapy doesn't mean your relationship is over. It means you both still think it's worth showing up for. Even therapists feel nervous walking into their own first session.

"What if the therapist takes sides?"
My job isn't to decide who's right. It's to help both of you understand what's actually happening underneath the argument — together.
"What if she tells us we're too far gone?"
I don't diagnose relationships as fixable or not in one session. Most couples who think they've waited too long haven't.
"What if my partner won't come?"
We can talk through how to bring it up — or you can start solo. Individual work often shifts the whole dynamic anyway.
"What if people find out and judge us?"
What happens in this room stays in this room. Coming here is a sign you both still care enough to try — not a sign of failure.
How we work together

Structure for the hard conversations. Empathy for the people having them.

I don't run sessions as a referee, and I don't run them as group venting. I combine research-backed structure with real emotional depth — so you both leave with something that actually changes how the next hard conversation goes.

Gottman Method
A structured, research-based approach to conflict and repair. So disagreements stop ending in the same dead end.
Emotionally Focused Therapy
Gets underneath the surface argument to the real fear driving it. So "you never listen" becomes "I'm scared you don't want to be close to me."
DBT-Informed Skills
Tools for staying regulated mid-conflict. So you respond instead of react — even on the hard days.
What different actually looks like

Not a relationship with no hard moments.
A relationship where the hard moments land differently.

Catching yourselves mid-pattern — "wait, I'm doing that thing again" — before it becomes the same old fight.
The pursue-withdraw dance loosening. One of you reaches, and the other doesn't disappear.
Saying the scared thing instead of the accusing thing — and having your partner actually look at you.
Feeling like teammates again, not two people quietly managing a household side by side.
Walking into your own home without scanning the room first.
Confidence in your future together — not because the hard stuff disappeared, but because you know how to move through it now.

Most couples don't come to me after one big blow-up.
They come because they're tired of the same fight — and ready for it to finally land somewhere different.

Schedule a Free Consultation
[Photo of
Maya Reyes, LMFT]
About your therapist

Maya Reyes, LMFT

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist · Couples Specialist

I work with couples who still love each other but have lost the thread of how to actually reach each other — through the logistics, the resentment, the same argument that keeps showing up wearing different clothes.

"My job isn't to decide who's right. It's to help you both hear what's actually underneath what you're saying."

Sessions with me are structured but never clinical. I'll interrupt when I need to — that's part of the job — but I'm not here to referee. I'm here to help you both find your way back to being a team.

Outside of sessions, I'm usually trying a new recipe that takes way longer than the recipe promised, walking with my husband and our very opinionated dog, or losing badly at tennis on purpose so my kid stays interested in playing with me.

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT) Gottman Method Level 1 + 2 EFT Certified DBT-Informed Training 12+ Years Experience
Getting started

Four steps. No pressure to have it all figured out first.

1
Reach out
Fill out the form — alone or together. Say as much or as little as feels right.
2
Free 15-min call
We talk through what's going on and see if it feels like a good match.
3
First session
We map out what's happening, what you both want, and where to start first.
4
Ongoing work
We build the muscle of catching yourselves mid-pattern — together, on purpose.
Ready when you are

Schedule your free consultation

One of you can fill this out, or both. I'll respond within 1 business day.

This form is not monitored 24/7. If you are in crisis, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

One more thing

If you've been meaning to bring this up for a while —

That hesitation is normal, not a red flag. You don't need a crisis to justify coming in. Wanting it to feel different is reason enough.

Schedule Your Free Consultation

In-person in Chicago · Telehealth across Illinois